The Overwhelmed Challenge - Lesson 2 Dealing with Critical People

Dealing with Critical People Unfinished Business From Last Week Last week we ended with the question does God punish?  We agreed, I think, that God does discipline;   Job 5:17-18 (NIV) "Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal."   1 Cor 11:32 (Phi) But when God does judge us, he disciplines us as his own sons, that we may not be involved in the general condemnation of the world.  Heb 12:5-8 (NIV) And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Heb 12:9-11 (NIV) Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. But does He punish?  In the case of believers I say no unless you see discipline and punishment as the same thing.  I see them both as consequence of sin.  But, and I think you will agree with me that the bible says that the punishment of sin is death right?  Well if you agree with that then what did Jesus’ death accomplish? We believe that he took that punishment for us the believer.   Yes non-believers will receive the punishment for sin but believers have been forgiven and Jesus has already taken the punishment for us. Review Last week in our study we talked about our key verse which is Romans 8:28 and we decided that those all things working for good are conforming us to the image Jesus so that when we face overwhelming situations and stress we should look at God and not the situation.  We passed out a list of things that Pastor Perry Noble who wrote Overwhelmed:  Winning the War Against Worry about who God is and Michelle shared her Gratitude Diary. Today's Discussion Well today we are going to talk about something that does cause of stress, weather we want to admit it or not and that is dealing with critical people. All of us deal with criticism in our lives. And it’s typically given to us without our asking for it. Perhaps it’s a co-worker, a neighbor or maybe even your mother-in-law that is always willing to give you their unwelcomed opinion. But, Jesus dealt with criticism(Matthew 15:1-4, Matthew 12:1-2, Luke 6:6-11, Mark 3:1-5), and so did the Apostle Paul (we have talked about this in our studies in Colossians, and in both 1 and 2 Corinthians) –eventually at some point, we all will have to deal with criticism. Sometimes these cynical remarks are discouraging. They can cause us to doubt ourselves and create unnecessary worry in our lives. So whenever criticism starts coming your way, here are 5 questions I should ask yourself: 1 - How Well Does This Person Know Me? Just because someone has an opinion about something does not make them an expert. Understand WHO is doing the criticizing. People will often make snap judgments on your character or actions based on almost anything, when they don’t know you or the occasion for their snap judgement. You probably don't have the time to change their opinion of you so you may not want to take the time to listen to them either. While you souldn't take the time to listen to those I just described you can and should, you listen to those closest to you. You welcome these people's rebuke as well as their encouragement. You want people around you who aren't afraid to tell you the truth. 2 - What Attitude Does The Person Criticizing Have? If someone comes at you with a negative, condemning attitude, write it off. The Bible says that we are called to speak the truth, but we are called to do so in love  Ephesians 4:15 (HCSB)  But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head—Christ.). 3 - Does What The Person Is Saying Pass Through The Filter Of Scripture? If the person making the comment is using scripture we should consider the context of the scripture being used not just the comment.   This from Pastor Noble's book Overwhelmed: Winning the War against Worry "For example, a few weeks ago, a friend and I had some differences and I did not speak to this person for several days. Things were tense because we work around one another. She confronted me on this and said, “The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26 that we are not supposed to let the sun go down on us while we are angry…I would say you have done that.” I was busted—she was right. She had confronted me with a non-judgmental attitude and used Scripture in context, and I repented because I was wrong. 4 - Is This Criticism Personal Or Shared By Others? Many times when we've had a great day and everything has gone right and we get praised and complimented by many folk. Perhaps we did a great job leading a song sung by they choir, bible study was great, or a fantastic sermon. Well often we'll get one negative comment. We will ignore the positive comments, and focus focusing on that one negative one, and it's probably not even true! We cannot let ourselves dwell on that negative comment. Here is the bottom line: 5 - Is This Worth My Time? We don't have the time to deal with every instance of criticism. There are some very real things that are worth your time, and you should address them. But you are not going to change the mind of the critical person so just move on. From Pastor Noble's Devotional "The Overwhelmed Challenge" In the end, we all have good things in our lives we need to focus on. The best thing being Jesus. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” So don’t spend your time fighting the critics, spend your time focusing on Jesus and the blessings He has given to all of us. He is the one we will spend eternity with in heaven, and His opinion is the only one that really matters.