The Ten Commandments, stand as a monumental and foundational text, not just for the Israelites at Mount Sinai, but for all who seek to understand God's will and live a righteous life. More than a simple list of "dos and don'ts," these commandments are a divine blueprint for flourishing human existence—they detail how we are to rightly relate to our Creator and how we are to rightly relate to one another. As we embark on this study, we are invited to look beyond the surface rules and engage in the continuous process of self-reflection and alignment with God's guidance. Our goal is to uncover the deep wisdom, the sacrificial love, and the enduring relevance of these ten statements, allowing them to shape a stronger, more Christ-centered foundation in our own faith and priorities.
This session is centered around the fifth commandment Exodus 20:12 NIV “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. It establishes the fundamental principle of respect for authority and order within the family—the basic unit of society.
The 10 Commandments is what is called a decalogue. The word "Decalogue" comes from the Greek term deka logoi, meaning "ten words" or "ten sayings," which is also a direct translation of the original Hebrew phrase.
More generally, the term can be used to describe any fundamental set of rules or principles that carries binding authority or serves as a foundational moral or ethical code. This set of rules were divinely revealed to Moses on Mount Sinai and inscribed on two stone tablets. We know the story.
The Ten Commandments are still seen as vital for Christians because they summarize God's unchanging moral will for humanity.
We started with the first commandment
Exodus 20:3 NIV You shall have no other gods before me.
We said that his commandment serves as the foundation and summary for all ten. If you break the First Commandment, you automatically set yourself up to break the others. Then we studied the second commandment.
Exodus 20:4-6 NIV [4] “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. [5] You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, [6] but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
This commandment addresses two critical aspects of worship: the method and the motive. God forbids the creation of physical representations (carved image or any likeness) of Himself or of anything in creation for the purpose of worship.
We studied the third Commandment,
Exodus 20:7 NIV “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
The core idea of treating God's name as empty, false, worthless, or meaningless applies to how we speak about Him, how we make promises in His presence, and how we live our lives as His representatives.
The Fourth Commandment is the bridge because it is rooted in our vertical duty to God (rest because God rested), but its immediate, practical application involves a horizontal responsibility to our neighbor (rest for your servants and others). This makes it the pivotal point where the foundation of loving God transitions into the practice of loving neighbor.
Exodus 20:8-11 (NIV) “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.”
God wants us to delight in His Word, enjoy his creation, celebrate beauty and love, and rejoice in the harvest. God intended for his people to enjoy their relationship with Him and each other by valuing the Sabbath. The Sabbath is set apart to connect with God and with other people. No one was excluded from the command to rest – even foreigners, servants, and livestock were called to take a break from work on the Sabbath. It was to be a blessing for all of creation.
"The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath"
Mark 2:23-28 NIV [23] One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and as his disciples walked along, they began to pick some heads of grain. [24] The Pharisees said to him, “Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?” [25] He answered, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need? [26] In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.” [27] Then he said to them, The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. [28] So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath
The Fifth Commandment, "Honor your father and your mother," is unique among the Ten Commandments as it is the only one that comes with a specific promise
Exodus 20:12 NIV “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
It establishes the fundamental principle of respect for authority and order within the family—the basic unit of society.
The Meaning of "Honor"
The Hebrew word translated as "honor" is kābēd (כָּבֵד), which literally means "to be heavy" or "to be weighty." To honor your parents means to recognize the weight and dignity of their position, not necessarily their perfection. This command is lifelong and evolves as we mature.
Honor encompasses:
Respect: Treating them with deference, politeness, and courtesy.
Honor encompasses Obedience (as children): Submitting to their authority
Ephesians 6:1-3 NIV[1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— [3] “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
This suggests that societal stability and personal well-being are directly linked to maintaining strong, respectful familial relationships.
3 Honor encompasses Care (as adults): Providing for them financially, physically, and emotionally in their old age or time of need
1 Timothy 5:4 NIV But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.
4. Honor encompasses Esteem: Holding them in high regard, both privately and publicly, avoiding needless shame or ridicule.
There is a collection of verses illustrating the depth and breadth of the Fifth Commandment: "Honor your father and your mother." This commandment is foundational and goes beyond simple obedience, reflecting God's design for human relationships
1. Obedience and Respect
Colossians 3:20 NIV [20] Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Children are commanded to obey their parents in all things that do not conflict with God's higher law. This is described as "well pleasing to the Lord."
Respect for parental instruction and law (guidance) is crucial for a child's character and formation and establishes a foundation of submission to authority.
Proverbs 1:8 NIV Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
The God-honoring position for a child is to render unquestioning obedience to their parents. This is how the child learns respect for authority, discipline, and moral order. As the passage states, this obedience is "well pleasing to the Lord." There is however a necessary caveat and exception and that is obedience to the parent does not conflict with God’s higher law which is the highest authority.
If a parent commands a child to do something that is explicitly forbidden by the Bible, or to neglect a command given by the Bible, the child's first allegiance must be to God. If a parent, for example, commanded a child to steal, lie, cheat, or participate in anything the Bible clearly defines as sin, the child must respectfully decline, as doing so would violate the higher authority of God.
Although not specific to the order of a parent this is the same idea; when the apostles were commanded by the Sanhedrin (a human authority) to stop preaching about Jesus. Their response was: "We must obey God rather than men"
Acts 5:27-32 NIV [27] The apostles were brought in and made to appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. [28] “We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,” he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.” [29] Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings! [30] The God of our ancestors raised Jesus from the dead—whom you killed by hanging him on a cross. [31] God exalted him to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might bring Israel to repentance and forgive their sins. [32] We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him.”
2. Material Provision and Care (Mark 7:10–13; 1 Timothy 5:4)
Honoring parents, especially in their elderly years, includes material provision and financial support when they are in need.
Mark 7:9-13 NIV [9] And he continued, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! [10] For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ [11] But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God)— [12] then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. [13] Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.”
Jesus is condemning what is called the Corban tradition which was a way to consecrate property, money, or possessions to the Temple or God, often as a vow or offering. Once declared "Corban," that resource was considered holy and set apart for the Lord, and could not be used for common purposes. The problem arose when this religious vow was twisted into a legal loophole to avoid a moral and legal duty: caring for needy parents.
By making this declaration, the child was considered legally unable to use those funds to support their aging and impoverished parents, because the money was supposedly "God's." The parent, in their deep piety, would not dare "steal" from God by accepting the funds.
In practice, the person making the vow often did not immediately turn the money over to the Temple treasury. They retained possession and use of the asset during their lifetime, while still claiming the religious exemption from their family obligation. They got to keep their money and appear deeply religious.
Jesus' condemnation of the Corban tradition shows that true religious devotion cannot be used as an excuse to neglect this practical duty. Honor requires action, not just words or feelings.
Children and grandchildren have a primary responsibility to "make some return" to their parents/grandparents as an act of allegiance, which is "pleasing before God"
1 Timothy 5:4 NIV But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.
3. Protection from Contempt (Exodus 21:17)
The parent-child relationship is sacred and protected by God's law. To treat parents with contempt is an affront to the divine order.
Exodus 21:17 NIV Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.
By placing such a severe punishment on this act, the law protected the integrity of the family unit. If the foundational relationship of the family (child to parent) is allowed to break down through contempt and verbal abuse, the entire social structure is threatened.
4. The Parental Counterbalance (Ephesians 6:4)
While children are commanded to obey and honor, fathers (parents) are given a corresponding command: "do not provoke your children to wrath."
Ephesians 6:4 NIV Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Parenting must be exercised in a way that is rooted in love, patience, and sound instruction ("training and admonition of the Lord"). This ensures that the relationship is not one of harsh, arbitrary rule, but one conducive to love, respect, and spiritual growth.
Discussion Points for Study and Reflection
Use the following questions and comments to guide your discussion on the practical challenges of applying the Fifth Commandment in adult life.
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