The Christ Church Wednesday Bible Study Group is studying grace. The title of the study is "What's So Amazing about Grace"
There could have been no grace whatsoever for us but for the fact that God the Son volunteered to take our place and redeem us: Grace... came through Jesus Christ.
When we seek to forgive others even when we feel they don't deserve it, we are becoming more like Christ because Jesus died on the cross, taking on the world’s sins but having committed no sin himself. The other party may not forgive you, but that is no excuse for you not to seek forgiveness. We are obligated as Christians to forgive one another, regardless of the other party’s response.
First, always leave room for an opposing viewpoint.
Second, if an argument must occur, don’t assassinate. An argument— even a strong clash—is one thing, but killing folks is another. I've seen brutal character assassinations occur in the name of religion
Third, if you don’t get your way, get over it and get on with life. If you don't get your way in a vote at a church, get over it.
Fourth, sometimes the best solution is separation. There is good biblical support for this, remember. Paul and Barnabas simply couldn't go on together, so they separated. If I can’t go on with the way things are in a particular ministry, leave. Who knows? This may be God's way of moving you on to another dimension of ministry.
We are using the books, "The Grace Awakening: Believing In Grace Is One Thing. Living it is Another", and "The Grace Awakening Workbook" by Charles E. Swindoll. You can study along with us by clicking the above links or the images after the notes.
These are the notes to Session 13
Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
Graciously Disagreeing and Pressing On
One of the marks of maturity is the ability to disagree without becoming disagreeable. Handling disagreements with tact is one of the crowning achievements of grace.
On the other hand, those who disagree and criticize should also not be cruel but use tact in their criticism.
Bottom line is to think before you speak or write.
Ephesians 4:29-32 NIV Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Rudeness is never appropriate. Without exception, kindness is.
It takes only a little more time to express your disagreements in tactful and gracious ways when someone holds a different opinion or even when you are right and need to correct them do it with kindness. or even when a correction should be made, and reproof is in order. Please don’t say “I’m only doing this in love.”
There will always be areas of disagreement, but we can all agree on these things.
Disagreements are inevitable
Even the godly will sometimes disagree
In every disagreement there are the same two ingredients, an issue and various viewpoints.
In many disagreements each side is valid
Disagreements are inevitable
We talked a lot about letting go and letting everybody have their own opinion about things that are not specifically addressed in scripture. Let people enjoy their own individuality. This in itself opens up the inevitability of differing opinions. There will be opposing viewpoints and a variety of perspectives on most subjects. Tastes differ as well as preferences. That’s why there is such a variety of foods, cars, clothes. That’s why there are Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals—and moderates. This creates a tension in our system and what freedom is all about, including religious freedom.as4 Like the debate in Rome about food and days. Should we worship on Saturday or Sunday, should we immerse or sprinkle, should we serve real wine or grape juice, should a statue or picture have Jesus on it or should it be empty.
We have to leave some wiggle room in the nonessential things to relieve the tension. We want to be grace givers not grace killers.
Even the godly will sometimes disagree
Because even the godly will sometimes disagree. I The person with whom you disagree can still bless you and you them. A comment made in Chucks book is
"God reserves the right to use people who disagree with me.”
God is far more tolerant, certainly full of more grace and forgiveness than all of us are. Unlike us, when He forgives, He forgets the transgression and removes it as far as east is from west.
Psalms 103:11-12 NIV For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
While we are still on this earth and until Jesus returns there will be disagreements however when He does return and we experience heaven we will see that there will be no denominations in heaven, no categories of Christians and only then will there be perfect harmony of heart and complete unanimity of agreement. Until then, count on it, even the godly will disagree.
Here are five Christlike ways to handle disagreements:
Pray About It
When we disagree with someone, the first thing we can do is pray. Give God the situation. Ask the Lord to speak and reveal to you anything you need to know about the situation that you may not know already. Ask the Lord to show you anything about the person you may need to know.
Ask the Lord to soften your heart towards that person. During the disagreement, you may have said things that attacked their character, and they may have done the same. Redeem this behavior by confessing your sin to God. Offer an apology to the other party. They may or may not accept it, but you have taken the first step toward resolving the conflict in a Christ Like manner.
Bite Your Tongue
In the heat of the moment, it is easy to use hurtful words and harsh comments to win the argument or to protect yourself from further rejection. Yet, when Jesus was on trial and falsely accused, he did not snap back with a quick comment or a word of knowledge about their lives. He instead remained silent, knowing that the ultimate judge had already found him not guilty.
Isaiah 53:7 NIV He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
Matthew 27:12-14 NIV When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, “Don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?” But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor.
With so many opinions, we are bound to conflict with one another at some point. But it is how we resolve the conflict that counts. Be the first to offer a sincere apology to the other party. Practice active listening by listening to their point of view without asserting yours.
When the other party is finished speaking, state your position again. Ask if they can see it from your perspective. Sometimes a shift in perspective can help us truly understand the situation from another point of view.
Forgive Always
Forgiveness is perhaps the hardest part of conflict because the other party might offer an apology, but trust has not been achieved. Therefore, you may be suspicious if they might repeat the action again. Scripture is clear that if we do not forgive others, God will not forgive us of our sins.
Matthew 6:14-15 NIV For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Ephesians 4:32 NIV Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Colossians 3:13 NIV Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
We must understand that forgiveness is a process. It is a result of processing through tough emotions and resolving them in a way that cultivates Christlike character.
When we seek to forgive others even when we feel they don't deserve it, we are becoming more like Christ because Jesus died on the cross, taking on the world’s sins but having committed no sin himself. The other party may not forgive you, but that is no excuse for you not to seek forgiveness. We are obligated as Christians to forgive one another, regardless of the other party’s response.
7 Steps to True Forgiveness
Step 1: Acknowledge
Acknowledge the hurt. Who hurt you and why did they do it? What is the context of the situation, and how long ago did this happen?
Step 2: Consider
Consider how the hurt and pain has affected you. The word “consider” is key here because it involves thinking before making a decision. Before you decide on whether or not you will forgive this person, consider the negative feelings you’ve acquired since the incident.
How has the pain changed you? How detrimental was the person’s mistake to your life or someone else?
Step 3: Accept
Accept that you cannot change the past. No matter how much you wish this pain could be reversed, it’s time to admit to yourself that your anger toward the person won’t redeem what they have done. It is during this step that you must thoughtfully consider whether or not you want to forgive.
Step 4: Determine
Determine whether or not you will forgive. This is when the forgiveness process will either begin or end. This decision should not be made lightly, as it will determine the future of your relationship with this person.
Step 5: Repair
Repair the relationship with the person who wronged you. Before any an act of forgiveness or reconciliation, rebuild the connection you used to have with this person.
Note that you are repairing the relationship, not restoring it. It will likely take more time for the relationship to return to normal, whatever that may look like to you. Acts of repairing can include kind words, simple gestures or even gifts.
In most cases, you will be the instigator of this repairing, but if you have thoughtfully engaged in the previous 4 steps, then there is a higher chance of success.
Step 6: Learn
Learn what forgiveness means to you. Up until now, you’ve probably thought that forgiveness is more for their benefit, not yours.
But once the relationship is on the path to restoration, and you’ve given yourself time to accept the reality of the past, it’s clear that forgiveness is a way for you to find closure. Closure that means something.
Step 7: Forgive
Forgive the person who wronged you.
You may be compelled to verbally forgive the person, even if you do not expect a kind response, but if you have followed through on the previous steps, then their reaction won’t really matter. What will matter is that you have found a way to let go and move on.
Pinpoint the Underlying Needs
In the heat of the moment, it is easy to argue about the conflict at hand. This may result from a current situation where the two of you are entangled. Yet, the emotional response to the conflict may have nothing to do with you. If this is someone you know personally, recall what you have observed in their lives. Is there any unresolved trauma or other wounds from the past that may be interfering with your current conflict? Sometimes people seek justice in this current situation because they did not receive justice for a past injury or victimization. If this is the case, kindly state what you believe to be true and see if there's a grain of truth to it. If there is, help them seek to resolve the previous pain so that pain does not interfere with your relationship today. By doing so, you will not only seek to resolve the conflict peacefully, but you may gain a true friend in the process.
In every disagreement there are the same two ingredients, an issue and various viewpoints.
The issue is usually objective and involves principles. The viewpoints are subjective and involve personalities. Which could be defined as a disagreement over an issue because of opposing points of view.
Because
In many disagreements each side is valid.
It is not so much an I-am-right-and-you-are-wrong matter. It is more like I-see-it-from-this-perspective-and-you-from-that-perspective
In most cases both sides of most disagreements have strengths and weaknesses, which means neither side is an airtight slam dunk.
Believe it or not God can use a disagreement to accomplish His will. Take the disagreement that Paul and Barnabas had over Mark.
Mark accompanied Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey.
Acts of the Apostles 13:1-5 NLT Among the prophets and teachers of the church at Antioch of Syria were Barnabas, Simeon (called “the black man”), Lucius (from Cyrene), Manaen (the childhood companion of King Herod Antipas), and Saul. One day as these men were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Appoint Barnabas and Saul for the special work to which I have called them.” So after more fasting and prayer, the men laid their hands on them and sent them on their way. So Barnabas and Saul were sent out by the Holy Spirit. They went down to the seaport of Seleucia and then sailed for the island of Cyprus. There, in the town of Salamis, they went to the Jewish synagogues and preached the word of God. John Mark went with them as their assistant.
At some point he split.
Acts of the Apostles 13:13 NLT Paul and his companions then left Paphos by ship for Pamphylia, landing at the port town of Perga. There John Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem.
Paul and Barnabas continued and completed that trip but when it came time to go out again there was a major disagreement about whether to take Mark along.
Acts of the Apostles 15:36-41 NLT After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care. Then he traveled throughout Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches there.
There stood two men of God, each fully convinced in his own mind that he was right.
Barnabas wanted to take Mark along Paul did not.
Barnabas looked at the issue from the viewpoint of the overall good of theman. Barnabas saw it as the classic opportunity to restore John Mark’s confidence.
The two men never ministered together again. They reached such a stalemate in their argument that one said, “I’m going this way,” the other, “I’m going that way.” If you take a map and study where each went, you will see they traveled in opposite directions—Barnabas and John Mark took to the sea and traveled to Cyprus; Paul and Silas (his new partner) stayed on the land and went northeast toward Syria, then swept over toward the west as he came to Cilicia and the other cities.
MODELING GRACE THROUGH DISAGREEABLE TIMES
First, always leave room for an opposing viewpoint.
Second, if an argument must occur, don’t assassinate. An argument— even a strong clash—is one thing, but killing folks is another. I've seen brutal character assassinations occur in the name of religion
Third, if you don’t get your way, get over it and get on with life. If you don't get your way in a vote at a church, get over it.
Fourth, sometimes the best solution is separation. There is good biblical support for this, remember. Paul and Barnabas simply couldn't go on together, so they separated. If I can’t go on with the way things are in a particular ministry, leave. Who knows? This may be God’sway of moving you on to another dimension of ministry.
THE PROCESS THAT LEADS TO GRACE AWAKENING
Insecurity Claiming the grace to be what I am
1 Corinthians 15:6-11 NIV After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born. For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. Whether, then, it is I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed.
Because of his history of persecuting Christianity Paul could have easily felt insecure in now preaching the gospel and being compared to men and women who walked with and talked with and saw and heard Jesus.
But Paul refused to cringe and hide, Cripple by feelings of insecurity. Why? The answer is clear: grace. God’s awakening, invigorating grace changed his whole perspective.
“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them,
yet not I, but the grace of God with me” (1 Cor. 15:10).
Grace made him what he was. Grace gave him courage to be who he was. Grace energized him to accomplish what he did. By realizing that he did not deserve and could never earn the privileges given him, Paul was freed to be exactly who he was and do precisely what he was called to do.
When you understand that God is the one, by His grace, that enables you to do what He has gifted you have no reason to compare yourself to and compete with anybody else. Grace relieves us of all that. God is the one who qualified you.
Weakness Claiming the grace to learn from what I suffer.
2 Corinthians 12:5-10 NIV I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Because we are human even though we are saved, sanctified, Holy Ghost filled, fire baptized, we still have weaknesses. We suffer. We hurt. We fail. We blow it. We feel bad. Medication won’t relieve it. Prayer doesn’t remove it. Complaining doesn't help it. We are imperfect.
Even though we have weaknesses we like Paul need to come to the realization that God's grace overcomes weakness.
Grace enables us to admit our struggles. When we find contentment even in our weaknesses, the anxiety that accompanies keeping up a good front vanishes, freeing us to be real. Gracein weakness enables us to become instruments of power in God’s hands. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Grace will help you let the cracks of your life show. Let them show! No one can identify with those who give the impression of nothing but flawless performances and slick success. We can all identify with failure and imperfection. And God has ways of honoring those times.
You don't have to rely on material things or the acceptance of people. How easy for those things to become unspoken grace killers.
No comments:
Post a Comment